C# developer humor - Chuck Norris.

These jokes were inspired by this link. I have modified them a bit to apply to the C or C# language.

• Chuck Nor­ris can make a class that is both abstract and constant.
• Chuck Nor­ris seri­al­izes objects straight into human skulls.
• Chuck Nor­ris doesn’t deploy web appli­ca­tions, he round­house kicks them into the server.
• Chuck Nor­ris always uses his own design pat­terns, and his favorite is the Round­house Kick.
• Chuck Nor­ris always programs using unsafe code.
• Chuck Nor­ris only enumerates roundhouse kicks to the face.
• Chuck Nor­ris demon­strated the mean­ing of float.PositiveInfinity by count­ing to it, twice.
• A lock statement doesn’t pro­tect against Chuck Nor­ris, if he wants the object, he takes it.
• Chuck Nor­ris doesn’t use VisualStudio, he codes .NET by using a hex edi­tor on the MSIL.
• When some­one attempts to use one of Chuck Nor­ris’ dep­re­cated meth­ods, they auto­mat­i­cally get a round­house kick to the face at com­pile time.
• Chuck Nor­ris never has a bug in his code, without exception!
• Chuck Nor­ris doesn’t write code. He stares at a com­puter screen until he gets the progam he wants.
• Code runs faster when Chuck Nor­ris watches it.
• Chuck Nor­ris meth­ods don't catch excep­tions because no one has the guts to throw any at them.
• Chuck Nor­ris will cast a value to any type, just by star­ing at it.
• If you catch { } a Chuc­kNor­ri­sEx­cep­tion, you’ll prob­a­bly die.
• Chuck Norris’s code can round­house kick all other classes' privates.
• C#'s vis­i­bil­ity lev­els are pub­lic, private, pro­tected, and “pro­tected by Chuck Nor­ris”. Don’t try to access a field with this last modifier!
• Chuck Nor­ris can divide by 0!
• The garbage col­lec­tor only runs on Chuck Nor­ris code to col­lect the bodies.
• Chuck Nor­ris can exe­cute 64bit length instruc­tions in a 32bit CPU.
• To Chuck Nor­ris, all other classes are IDisposable.
• Chuck Nor­ris can do mul­ti­ple inher­i­tance in C#.
• MSBuild never throws excep­tions to Chuck Nor­ris, not any­more. 753 killed Microsoft engi­neers is enough.
• Chuck Nor­ris doesn’t need unit tests, because his code always work. ALWAYS.
• Chuck Nor­ris has been coding in gener­ics since 1.1.
• Chuck Nor­ris’ classes can’t be decom­piled... don’t bother trying.

Here are some originals:

• If you try derive from a Chuck Norris Interface, you'll only get an IRoundhouseKick in-the-face.
• Chuck Nor­ris can serialize a dictionary to XML without implementing IXMLSerializable.
• Chuck Norris can decompile your assembly by only reading the MSIL.